Have you lost your Self?

Lose your self?

Many of us have felt the panic at losing a child, even if just briefly. I myself have been both lost child and child loser. Several times, actually. As a baby, I rolled under some laundry that was overhanging the basket and fell asleep. I did this while my mom walked out of the room for a few minutes, so that I was gone when she came back in. Even though she logically knew that it was impossible for me to go anywhere, I couldn’t walk yet, she still panicked at not being able to find me. Another time, when I was older and could walk, I wandered under a clothing rack in a department store. More panic and worry on my mother’s end, but I was found quickly.

As a mother myself, I couldn’t find my daughter during a very busy sidewalk sale. We were walking together, she didn’t notice that I had stopped, and I didn’t notice that she hadn’t. More heart-racing panic, on both our parts, and she was located within a few minutes.

When we’ve lost a child or another person, we feel the loss immediately and sharply. Our sympathetic nervous system kicks into high gear. There’s rushing adrenaline and a quickly beating heart, all part of an activated fight or flight response. It’s quick and not subtle. It’s also out of our control. Our body instinctually knows what to do to give us laser focus and a heightened awareness of our senses.

Do you know where your Self is?

Compare this to how it feels when we lose ourselves. It is a slow and subtle process, usually starting in childhood. You may be given the subtle or direct message that you are the caretaker of your family’s emotions, you may be overtly abused, you may start to lose confidence in your appearance and talents, you may not be accepted for who you inherently are.

As this process continues through adolescence and into adulthood you lose touch with your true self. You may enter a career that is not of your desires but that makes others happy. You may be at constant war trying to get your body to fit a certain mold. You may accept poor treatment from others. All these pieces, and more, come from a place of disconnection from your true self.

Find your self

The process of coming back to your self takes the willingness to understand how you came to be lost and what you need to do to be found. There is no blame involved. Not to your childhood caretakers and especially not to yourself. It is most often the hardest work you will ever commit to, but it is the most rewarding. As you go through the process you will find your voice, your freedom, your authentic self, your balance between your inner masculine and feminine, and so much more. You will be you, and you will shine from within.

We will be going deeper into how to find your true self in later blog posts, but for now just be aware of the ways in which you might be disconnected from the real you.

P.S. If you want to continue this discussion in person, check out our upcoming TEA class where we’ll be diving deep into this topic.

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