Loving your Darkest Parts


“Once the seed of awakening sprouts in you, theres no choice — there’s no turning back.”

-Ram Dass

Your Darkest Day

Today is the worst day of your life. Up until now, at least. Although you don’t see how it could ever get worse. It’s your darkest day. All cracks are sealed off and there’s no light getting in to you.

You’re standing at that point between where your past has been completely dissolved and your future is a gaping unknown.

Everything you’ve known was disassembled and chucked over a cliff. You watched the pieces of your life shatter into dust as they hit the rocks, then get washed out with the tide. And with your past went all your plans for the future. You’re actually in the present moment like all those gurus say you should be, only it doesn’t feel so good.

You stay in this space for awhile, in the darkest space you’ve ever known. And in this space of present-moment awareness, even though it downright sucks, you have an epiphany. You realize that your story, the one where you’re the victim of what just happened to you, is the complete opposite of your true self. Now there’s a crack. That’s where the light gets in. (Thank you, Leonard Cohen, for that line.)

Ah, but then that little voice in your head starts talking to you again. It tells you that if you move toward this light of your truest self, those who love you will be disappointed in you. They’ll judge you, and eventually withdraw their love from you.

Walking Away

Even though you’re afraid that what that voice in your head is telling you, you decide to walk away from that story and toward your integrity. And once you live from your personal integrity, you end up releasing all that energy that you once directed toward your story of victimhood. Since energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it has to go somewhere. This enormous energy that you released from your darkest spot now goes to serve your best daily life. It moves to where it can better serve you.

Once you walk away from your drama, that story you’ve told yourself, you find that your stories stop replaying themselves because they have nothing to feed on. When you give those stories no intention or attention they simply evaporate and return as nourishing rain for your soul.

The Final Step

Now that you’ve walked away, make a list of all the negative experiences you’ve had. Next to each one, write down what skills and abilities you now possess because of those same experiences. How can you use these skills and abilities to help yourself and others?

Another way to come at this is to brainstorm book titles. If you were to write a book or teach a class based on your experiences and what you learned, what would it be called? If your life were training you to fulfill a specific need in the world, what would that need be?

Love the gifts that this darkest day has brought to you.

And for an even deeper dive into walking away from your stories, check out our Be Your Own Guru e-course. It walks you step-by-step through dropping your drama and letting it change into the positive energy you desire.

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